My Name’s Jeff
GPR 4 West Drayton Reserves 2
I wasn’t counting, but a series of 2pm kick offs and other engagements meant we fell short of the 17 post-match lagers - really the only thing I was there for. According to my loving captain, it isn’t to play football (apparently bone deformities aren’t a valid excuse and yes I am making a meal of it). But the Salads got the job done, winning our last game of the year to round up a dramatically improved look to the side. In the immortal words of Andy Tate, “second ‘alf of the season we’re doing a title charge”.
Re: our little Christmas jingle, we definitely didn’t get 16 players on time, although on the upside that wasn’t because of the 15 hangovers foreboded. Julian must have managed 14 crunching tackles all by himself to go with the heap of offsides caused by the opposition, and frankly it’s a Christmas miracle not a single yellow card was given, which paired nicely with the 10+ dubious decisions across the pitch this weekend. I’ll spare you the rest, save to say that we managed to avoid any serious injuries in consecutive weeks for the first time in our fledgling history.
As we have learned time and time again, you’re never more than a few games from serious trouble, so I’m glad we got to face a West Drayton side on the up with an impressive new crop of lads on show this week. When things are tough, you get busy recruiting, or you sink. Regardless of the result you want, no one wants to see more clubs fold (*cough cough* FA sort it out please *cough*). They’re a side that will definitely improve on their position as the season develops and I wish them all the best, despite the brief intermissions of handbags throughout.
Onto the game itself. My favourite shot-stopper, Greg, impaled himself on a glass shard last week - I guess to avoid attending my moving out party - but former goalie Oli stepped up to fill the void on his return from injury. New favourite shot-stopper Oli was phenomenal in defending the intermittent peppering of in-swinging crosses over the course of the first half. He capped this off with a glorious tip onto the bar following a powerful attempt from a corner. But special praise must be reserved for the opposition’s no. 1, who clocked up a double-digit save count in the first half alone and kept out almost everything. Reserve keeper my arse! Nevertheless, a wicked whipped corner from puppet-master Jack T found Jeffrey in the centre of the box and he dispatched the effort from close range. Luckily for the away outfit, it’s the season of giving back, and minutes later a corner bobbled into their midfielder who had yards of space on the edge of the box. With a thunderous first time effort, he placed it between a swarm of players into the top corner to level the game.
Much of the first half was dominated by our attacking prowess, creating chance after chance without the cherry on top. Their keeper was relentless, making saves at will as frustration on our end built. Despite being dominant and having multiple chances on goal, we went into the break all square. But we were confident that if the chances kept coming, we’d be fine. The second half ensued and we put on the pressure, and within minutes a run from Jeff found Rory in the box, only to be denied by yet another incredible stop.
Finally, after 20 minutes of play, a whipped effort from Matty found Jeff in space and at last we went 2-1 up. Minutes later, a beautiful series of triangles between Adam, Ossie and Matty found the latter in space on the edge of the box, and he pulled it back for Jeff yet again to give him his second hat trick in GPR colours in just four appearances.
But the match was far from over. West Drayton’s no. 12 had been threatening all game, and with the game still in the balance he cut inside the defender and curled the ball into the top corner to threaten another comeback. That was until, as the game was reaching its close, that a hopeful long ball found Jeff in space, and with bags of pace to boot he knocked it past the keeper and killed the game dead with his fourth. In his own words, “it’s just what I do”. A tense match throughout ended with a deserved win for the Salads and pushes us comfortably into the upper mid-table fight, and a platform on which to build for 2024.
In many ways, this week was a great advertisement for the progression we’ve made over the last twelve months. Given we weren’t sure if we’d be able to continue this time last year, it’s been one hell of a transformation. Adam, David and Jack T were emblems of the progress we’ve made as individuals, each having storming games to bag the three points. Julian and birthday boy Alan’s high work rate at the back reflected the steel we’ve steadily been developing. Matty, Jeff and Rory up top showed us how much technical and attacking quality we have on our day. I just bloody love this team, and can’t wait for another year. UP THE SALAAAAAAAAAADS.
MOTM 🤌 = how can you not give it to Jeff? With that said, Jack T was in the running as was Oli between the sticks.
DOTD 💀 = Greg. Still think this one is a little harsh, but it’s out of my hands. Don’t worry mate, you’re still my favourite keeper.
