Magic Mike

GPR 6 Kensington Dragons 1

The Salads’ run continued in style this weekend with an emphatic 6-1 victory over Kensington Dragons to make it 6 wins in 7. We entered the home straight of the league season (how do we only have 4 games left?!) 2nd in the table, with an unlikely source dominating the scoresheet. 

I arrived early and began the weary – but much-anticipated – routine of inspecting the pitch and reluctantly declaring it fit to play. The team filtered in and we got ourselves set up, despite almost forgetting to do a warm-up, a grave rookie error.

Our last game against Dragons had been a tense 1-0 victory that really could have gone either way. It took a string of impressive saves from Oli – who was away this week – to shut them out last time. 

It fell to debutant Josh to go between the sticks, and despite his impressive references, we knew we couldn’t rely on another keeper masterclass to force a result. That said, in the opening few minutes, it seemed as though that might be the case.

The opposition started strong. An early barrage of attacks forced us to defend the opening phase of the game, and although we were equal to it, Kensington looked up for the fight. Some great recoveries from Alan and Mike in defence ensured that we limited the chances from open play and got ourselves organised.

We do have a bit of a history of growing into the game. Fortunately, we have done away with conceding in the first minute, and with belief in the time running high it wasn’t long before we retaliated.

Gavin created the game’s first big chance, a run down the right flank enabling a cross that flashed across the box. Jeff almost converted, but after a defensive scramble the opposition recovered. 

Soon after, an innocuous long ball rolled into their keeper, who drastically underestimated Jeff’s speed. After a tangle, Jeff emerged with the ball and shot, only for the pitch to hold the ball up and allow the defender time to make a goal-line stop.

It went out for a corner, and after making the tactical decision to under-hit the first, then the second, the third attempt caught the defence sleeping. Alan rose highest, only to see his header ricochet off the post.

Kensington looked to break, but some great defensive work from Tim to contain the onrushing striker prevented the threat from going any further.

Both sides were looking to open the scoring. A scintillating through ball from a Dragons midfielder opened up our right flank, and their winger closed in on goal, and Josh did well to parry the effort.

This time, we countered from the ensuing corner, and Jeff’s determination to fight through several players paid off, as he won a clear penalty at the other end. Up stepped Rory, and he sent the keeper the wrong way. 1-0. 

Five minutes later, we doubled our advantage. Revelling in his new position, Dan took a high ball down with ease, and pinged it out wide to Gav, who controlled it brilliantly. With his next touch, he looped the ball in, and Dan’s charging run into the box went unchecked. An easy header to make it 2-0.

Despite this, we were still having to work in our own half. Andre and Tim were working well in tandem to stymy attacks, break up play and counter, but Dragons’ attack heavy formation played their right winger in once more. Again, however, Josh was more than equal to it.

Half time, and things were looking good. Our aim was to tighten up, but there was no faulting the tenacity and work rate of the boys on the pitch. Jeff and Rory were pushing high and pressuring the defence, while the supporting cast of Ant and Aman down the wings provided good width.

On the reset, the game turned in to a bit of a chess match, with both teams keeping each other largely at arm’s length. But our quality persisted, and we found reward in Arran.

First, he hit the bar from a corner ball. Then, after chasing down a long ball, he broke into the area and squared the ball to Rory, who was denied by the outstretched boot of the defender. 

With tension building, Kensington’s midfielder got himself sin-binned after some choice words of advice to the ref. We knew it was our chance to kill the game, and we did, surprisingly, through the mullet-wielding wonder at the back, Big Mike.

Arran’s set pieces had already threatened the goal once. This time, he stuck it on the penalty spot, and it passed everyone before Mike intervened. With a powerful header, he punched the ball into the net to make it 3-0. 

But Mike wasn’t done. Another corner, and another goal for the birthday boy, albeit a less glamourous one as he seemed to just run into the ball and force it over the line. But who cares – he’d been a rock at the back all game and fully deserved his flowers. 4-0. We were on a rout, and out for blood. Andre went up next.

After giving the defenders nightmares with his quick feet and mazy runs through the middle of the pitch, he went for a more route one approach, and having found space from 30 yards out, he struck the ball with venom.

It dipped and swerved in the area, and looked a certain goal as soon as it left his boot. 5-0, game set and match. Another fully deserved notch for Andre, who has been in excellent form this calendar year.

I was looking forward to our first clean sheet of the year, a just reward for the excellent work at the back. But with 10 minutes to go, a foray into the box clipped Aman’s arm and the referee awarded a penalty. 5-1. Spoil sports.

The defence took this personally, and with our final corner of the game we had the last laugh. Another superb delivery from Arran found Alan. This time, his effort was on target and he wheeled away in celebration, only to see the rest of the team rounding around – you guessed it – Big Mike.

Seeing his opportunity, Mike snatched his hat-trick from his captain on the line. It was as ballsy as it was hilarious. Alan didn’t know whether to be furious or proud. In the end, he settled for a rather aggressive combination of the two.

Then it was all over. What a performance. Half the team deserved man of the match, everyone put in a shift fit for champions. If we keep playing like this, we’re going to go far. COME ON YOU SALADS!

MOTM 💫 = Big Mike. The Tim-Andre pivot balled out, as did the entire defence and attack. Josh had a great debut. The subs, especially Arran, were flawless. Everyone won the game today.

DOTD 👀 = Some very optimistic calls for a penalty retake. Also, Patrick Mahomes and my 5-fold acca.